A Condensed Fortnight of South American Hijinks

|
Ages since our last post so I'll just give the much-edited highlights. Our last full day in Cusco was the day of the Corpus Christi processions so we spent ages watching the various floats, brass bands, dancing school-children and people dressed up in brightly coloured woollen costumes. Another plus was that as part of the celebrations, everywhere served 'chirri uchu' which is a plate of chicken, pork, guinea pig, toasted corn, caviar and seaweed that you eat without cutlery. For some reason ours came with a glass of straight pisco that tastes like petrol so we subtly mixed it with coke to make it actually drinkable. After this Alex and I went to 'Paddy Flaherty's, the highest Irish pub on the planet!' which as promised was very high and fairly Irish.
Next day after a full English breakfast and some general Cusconian wandering we get a hefty night-bus to Arequipa and spend the following morning recovering in our hotel. For lunch we go to a Turkish place where we bump into Leela and Ellie! Bizarre how things like this keep happening. In the evening we meet up with them at the house they've been staying for the last month or so, for Chinese take-aways and a really long game of 'Ring of Fire', then more drinks at a club until the morning.
Alex and Franklin left for Puno a couple of days later while I stayed on in Arequipa (for more details of their time together see Alex's post, coming soon to a blog near you). My time alone was not as exciting as I'd been planning given that I was laid down by some stomach bug so rather than live the Arequipan high-life I spent most of my three days lying in bed watching crime shows. I have very little else to report other than that I went to a massive nunnery and spent half an hour in a park translating someone's English copy of National Geographic into Spanish.
Border crossing into Bolivia was successful other than the git of a border official who searched me "for drugs" and ended up nicking forty dollars from me. First Bolivian stop was Tiahuanaco, a massive archaeological site that is still being excavated by all of the Tiahuanacan locals. After that I bussed to La Paz and met up with Alex and Franklin at our hostel (which is insanely cheap, just like pretty much everything else in Bolivia). La Paz is a cool city with a decent cocaine musuem and a witches' market where you can buy basically everything from armadillos and llama foetuses to cat toenails and a candle for raising the dead. The rest of our time was spent finding a decent tour agency for the Death Road, which we booked for the following day (sorry Mum). Anyway, it was amazing - about four hours of mountain-biking down a narrow dirt-track with massive drops to our left. Luckily we only met two other vehicles on the way down. High-speed riding and some great views, then to finish off we had a massive buffet lunch at a high-class hotel. And no-one fell off, which is a plus.
After some more exploring of La Paz we got a bus to Uyuni, a freezing cold dead-end town which you'd never visit other than to book a tour to the salt flats, which we did without much hassle. And the tour was stunning. The salt-flats themselves are amazing and we got all kinds of crazy perspective-cheating photos, but they only made up a small part of the tour - as well as that there was the train cemetery, coloured lakes, volcanoes, geysers, the Salvador Dali desert and a surreal cave that looked like it was made out of papier-mache and fibreglass. Almost as surreal as that was the fact that in one of the dead trains we met Fenna, a Dutch girl who we last saw partway through Ecuador. Another highlight was the thermal baths, which were fun to get in but painfully cold to get out of. Our agency (Oasis) was great - they gave us cake and wine, and against all the odds our desert jeep didn't break down once.
After that we got out of Uyuni as soon as was humanly possible and now Alex, Franklin, Fenna and I are in a hostel in Potosi about to go out for dinner because all we've had to eat today is Pringles. Next stop Potosi mines, which are meant to be like 'hell on Earth'. So that should be a laugh.

The road to Machu Picchu

|
After spending 15 hours on a bus ride from Nazca watching some dreadful films, we arrived in Cuzco and headed straight to a hostal. Afterwards, a spot of lunch was in order, where we started to get the ´Cuzco gringo experience´, which involves the constant offering of hats, puppets, massages and drugs. We declined all except the hat. The morning of the next day consisted of getting a full english breakfast from the only Real McCoy restaurant in Peru, looking for a decent tour to take us to Machu Picchu, and going to internet cafes. After uploading some pictures on Flickr (a link for which you can find on the webpage) we met up with two Australian travellers, Zane and Emma, Who we met in Vilcabamba, in Ecuador (during the night of free alcohol - see one of the previous blog posts). We then went for an all-you-can-eat indan buffet, for about 4 quid each. Also at dinner was Todd, who worked as the ´director of Cinematography´ in the adult entertainment industry. Didn´t really ask him about his work, but apperently he intends to name one of his future movies with the lead characters called Zane and Emma. We wern´t sure what to make of the either. The next day, I went quadbiking with Zane and Todd while Max and Franklin went to one of the massive markets in this area. After this, it was time to prepare for our 3 day tour to Machu Picchu, which would consist of biking, rafting and hiking.

The tour started at 6 am Peruvian time (so about 6:45 am), when a minibus took us and some fellow travellers to the top of a nearby mountain. We got our helmets and gloves wrapped up warm and headed off down the mountain, firstly on tarmac roads and then on dirtroads. By far the best bit was cycling on the dirtroad, due paticually to the heavy rain fall that started as soon as we got on to the dirtroad, which made things all the more exciting. During the biking, both Max and myself fell off, grazing our left knees. Max fell whilst high-fiving peruvian schoolchildren, whilst I fell after trying to simultaneously take a photo and steer a bike. Fortuantly, we are now both ok (relativly), but my camera has seen better days. With the biking over, we thought we would do a little white water rafting, but with only one place available, the others kindly let me do it whilst they drank 1.1 litre bottles of lager. After this is was an hours drive to the next town, then bed. The next day was taken up by a rather long hike through the highlands of Peru, which mainly consisted of climbing up one big hill, seeing some ruins (and Machu Picchu from a distance) and walking back down. This left us quite hot and sweaty, so the guide suggested a dip in the river at the bottom of the valley. However, this is where Max decided to get rid of pair number 3 of his sunglasses, for when he went under the water he was with sunglasses, and when he emerged he was without. He then had to borrow my ´Genuine´raybans for the rest of the walk, but I believe he has now bought his own, for the pricey sum of 5 pounds. After a decent lunch we headed up to the town of Aguas Calientes, following the river. On the way we learnt a quechua word ´apucontititriksiillawericochapachayacachik´. This means God. Just God. Why not just say God. Its not hard to learn, but much quicker. Ridiculous. In Aguas Calientes we trated ourselves to warm showers, ate dinner and went to bed, unaware of how long the next day was going to be...

We woke up at 3.30am and started to walk to Machu Picchu at 4. To get to Machu Picchu, one can either catch a bus, or climb 3600 stone steps built by the Incas. Naturally we chose the latter, and 45 minutes later we were waiting at the entance, about 50th in line. At 6am the gates opened, and we started our tour of Machu Picchu. The first place you go to is the ledge just behind the city, which is where all the stereotypical pictures of Machu Picchu are taken. After getting our pictures of the sunrise over the Incan city, we learnt about the various temples and houses that make up most of the city. A little bit of history: Machu Picchu was an Incan stronghold for about 70 years after the Spanish invasion, after which there is little evidence of where they went next. Some believe they may have fought and killed eachother, but some believe they retreated to the jungle, where they formed the city of ´El Dorado´. After the tour, we hiked up Huayna Picchu, the mountain behind Machu Picchu in all the photos. A gruelling 30 minutes hike and we were at the top, savouring the grandeur of the occasion (or for Max, having a little nap). After getting our customary photo at the top, we headed back down, where Max and Franklin headed to the Sun gate (another part of the ruins) whilst I went up Machu Picchu mountain, a trek that was exhausting but totally worth it. By the time I got back down, it was time to leave. Being the skint students that we are, we walked back down to Aguas Calientes instead of getting a bus, where we killed time until the train by eating dinner and listening to ipods. 1 train ride, 1 minibus ride and 1 coach ride later, we arrived in Cuzco at 2 am this morning, exhausted but amazed by what we had done. A big shout out to Hugo, our guide for the trip, who was full of facinating stories, useful information and ´interesting´ jokes.

Lines in the sand.

|
After we left Huaraz we went via Lima and Ica to the small desert oasis of Huaccachina, on our first day here, after mostly sleeping we climbed the large dune behind our hostal for the sunset across the desert... As we clambered up the gigantic slope sliding in the sand, our minds fell back to two days before when we were trekking up the glacial peak of Vallunaraju, except this time it was not the cold but the heat which was our enemy. The next morning Alex and Max decided to go to the top for the sunrise, at 5.30 in the morning they climbed the slopes passing several groups of heavily inebreiated Brits, only for the sunrise to be obscured by a heavy fog. Thankfully making the extra time i spent in bed all the more worthwhile. Later that morning we organised and booked our sandboarding and the dune buggy tour, before heading out to an Internet cafe for some communications. Then we took the sandboards out for a little practice... we climbed a fair way up the dune and before long we were tumbling down the sand at quite some speed. We frequently fell over on our attempts with alex bruising his backside after attempting to use it to slow down. After a few hours of travelling at high speed down the dune then taking the tiring walk back up we went to lunch. After this our Dune tour/sandboarding commenced. The buggy drove quickly over the undulating terrain and if we weren´t packed so tightly in there may have been some genuine fear. At the first dune we stopped at we attempted to stand up whilst going down, and experienced some pretty spectacular falls. Next up it was a much larger dune for which we decided upon (and were advised to) lie down whilst doing. On this we built up some serious speed and the bumpy section at the bottom was suprisingly painful. Back in the buggy and we attempted a succession of ever larger dunes, and ultimatly finished on a smaller dune which we did standing with an amazing sunset across the desert landscape. Once back at the hostal we had a small rest before heading out for tea, and then back in preperation of our trip to Nazca the next day.

We got a bus straight from Ica to Nazca where we took a taxi to the airport. At the airport we bought a flight over the ancient geoglyphs, and soon set off. The flight totalling 35mins took us over all of the most famous sites, but was also rather warm, and bumpy not a great combination for Alex. Nethertheless we all managed to get some amazing views of the lines and animals. Tonight we plan to travel on a disproportionatly expensive bus to Cuzco where hopefully the next installment of the blogothon will be released.

Hijinks in the Cordillera Blanca

|
The last week in Huaraz has been our most active yet. Our first jaunt was to Laguna 69, a crazily bright blue lake at 4500m above sea level surrounded by snow-capped mountains. It was the first properly high altitude walk we've done but none of us were ill, just really really knackered. Next day we started a three-day trek, with an agency this time, to some place none of us can ever remember the name of, but it sounds like Turbluhbluhhulahula. We had expected it to be a gruelling strenuous hike but happily it turned out to be the slowest walk we have ever done thanks to the pace set by our two guides. Joining us on our three days of ambling through the mountains were a French lady called Cecile and Andrea, a sarcastic German. Given that we finished walking pretty early each day and there wasn't much to do, most of our entertainment came from the swarms of cows that surrounded our campsite, followed us around, tried to steal our food, and ignored us when we threw rocks at them. So all in all a very good trek that took us to the highest we had ever been, a mountain pass at 17 thousand feet. The third and final day of walking was followed up by numerous free pisco sours at the agency's office then a slap-up filet mignon.
After an uneventful day of rest (during which we bought a lot of clothes, most of them made out of llama) we began our second organised hike, this time to a glacier-topped mountain called Villunaraju. The first day was short but HARD due to our very heavy bags (containing our usual hiking stuff plus harnesses, crampons, pots, pans, fuel and food), the steepness of the hill, the altitude, and the fact we were all wearing ski boots. We got to the campsite reasonably early where it became apparent just how much food our guide had brought along with us. Won't go into the details but it could have easily lasted a small village from now until we get back to England. For the rest of the day we slept, ate, and sheltered from hailstorms. Coincidentally, at the campsite we were reunited with Andrea our German friend who seemed to have already met everyone at the campsite.
Then at three o'clock the next morning we got up to begin the real ascent - roped up, slapped on the crampons and started our journey across the snow. We seem to have blanked most of the ascent from our minds but we all have similar impressions of amazing views (at least after the sun had risen), freezing hands, and extreme knackered-ness. When we eventually got to the top though - which is at nineteen thousand feet above sea level, setting a new record for the highest we have ever been - it was definitely worth it. We collapsed onto the snow, panted and ate chocolate while our guide got out his mobile and called a taxi. Unfortunately we couldn't stay too long because it was getting hot and we didn't want the glacier to melt before we'd had a chance to walk back down it. Needless to say the descent was a lot more enjoyable than the ascent and for the very last stretch we gave up on walking and just slid, which seemed like a good idea until Alex almost fell down a crevasse and Franklin almost brained me with his crampons. Once back at the campsite we handed Franklin over some presents and a cake to celebrate his NINETEENTH BIRTHDAY! Well we didn't have enough space in our bags for a cake and we couldn't find any candles so instead Alex got a doughnut and stuffed it full of matches. Franklin was less than thrilled with this but he liked his Swiss army card and his flask full of peach juice so that's okay.
We had been planning to make the whole trek last three days but seeing as how we were a lot quicker than expected we decided to forego another night of camping and made it back down to our original starting point by one o'clock of the same day. Only trouble was that our hostel was fully booked so instead we stayed at our guide's dad's "house" which was actually an unfinished and totally abandoned building that had two beds and some mattresses and a pornographic calendar and... that's it. Our bathroom had no door but at least the water worked. Anyway we were so amazingly shattered by this point that we didn't care where we stayed as long as there was a roof. That evening we went our for another decent meal with Andrea and Cecile, followed this up with a beer at a nearby bar, then crashed at our hostel. Bit of hassle when we couldn't remember exactly where it was but after a lot of wandering around and a failed attempt at breaking into someone else's home we made it.
And that is pretty much it. Off to Lima at ten thirty tonight to continue our Peruvian adventure!

Sun, sea and sand

|
After the excitement of hiking in the Peruvian cloud forest, getting lifts in pickup trucks and staying with random Peruvian families, we decided we needed some time to relax. After a 15 hour bus ride from Chachapoyas to Trujillo, we agreed to get a taxi to Huanchaco, a costal town about 20 minutes from Trujillo. Exhausted from the last few days, we listened with wonderment as our taxi driver told us of a place with long sandy beaches, delicious cuisine and so many beautiful women we would have to get a room each. He dropped us off at a hotel, where we showered, watched tv and relaxed. After muddying up the bathroom, we went for a spot of lunch (chicken sandwich and chocolate cake) in a cafe. This would become our regular spot for lunch. The next few days passed in the same routine. We got up about 10 ish, got ice cream or a pastry, and relaxed on the beach, where Peruvian surfers would come up to us and offer us surf school, followed by pot. We politely declined both. To break up the routine, we visited Chan Chan, the largest adobe city in the world (whatever that means). It was here that our very own Mr Franklin caused a considerable stir amongst the Peruvian female population, not for the first time on this trip. After a few pictures (and giving away and email address) we explored the ruins. Whilst doing so, and in an attempt to emulate a character of a videogame, I jumped off a 8 foot wall (altough i must have cleared the 10 foot mark in the air) and landed, in a word, poorly on the hard ground below. This resulted in a very painful (and slightly sprained) ankle. I should point out that both Max and Franklin would like to point out that the chain of events was slightly different (ie it was more of a fall than a 10 foot leap), but you will have to judge for yourself when the pictures are on flickr. Other highlights of our beach time including some excellent sea food, some massive burgers, a very large amount of high quality pastries and ice creams, and a dog who was probably high. We caught another night bus from Trujillo to Huaraz, a city in the mountains of Peru, but thats another story for another time...

"Sorry Mum got to go, I´m getting in the back of a pickup truck!"

|
After our brief stay in Chachapoyas (primarily to try and acquire some clean clothes...) we left for Leymeybamba, where we hoped to do the Laguna de los Condores trek. When we got there we went in search of the hostal in the guide book, after looking for a while we gave up and chose a random, pleasant looking place. Here the hostal owner woman told us about the hostal we had intended to stay in and how they were "clandestine" and that "they don´t pay taxes". The next day we tried to organise the tour, but unfortunatly the tourist office was apparently permanently closed, and instead we headed off to the museum outside the town which contained all the artefacts from the Chachapoyan people of the Laguna de los Condores. At the museum they had a vast array of relics, ranging from interesting pots to mummified opossums. Inside we were told no photographs, but as we seemed to be the only people there we took a fair few anyway. Here we all bought souvenirs, in the form of handcarved mummies done, in the shop by a peruvian man. The next day we had unfortunatly given up on the visit to the Laguna de los Condores, and instead we set out on the 6 hour round hike to La Congona ruins instead, asking directions on the way as we passed indiginous people on their horses. After a brief (and accidental) detour to some other ruins we found the settlement we had been looking for: shrouded in cloud forest, and invisible to you were literally on top of them were some 30 round stone houses of Chachapoyan design, the houses ranging from one to 3 floors, and being the only site to display all 4 chachapoyan designs. We stayed here for a while admiring the impressive views of the surrounding mountains and of the ruins themselves, before heading back down the mountains to Leymebamba.

The next day, we had to wake up early to catch a combi (like a minibus) to a small town where we could get a bus to Tingo, arriving at tingo at around 6. From here we began walking up to Nuevo Tingo where we hoped to get a taxi to Maria before continuing our walk to Kuelap, supposedly the most important Chachapoyan ruins. Only a few steps into the walk, and whilst Max was on the phone to his mum wishing her happy birthday, we got offered a lift in the back of a pick up truck heading in the right directions, we accepted and soon were headed up the perilous mountain road towards Maria. This only took us part of the way, and we had to hitch another lift to maria when we were dropped off. In Maria we had intended to walk the rest of the way supposedly taking 4 hours to Kuelap but the weather had turned bad, and we were still tired from the walk the previous days. After asking we were told "Of course, loads of cars come through here, just get any of them" this proved harder than we had originally anticipated, with no cars passing through in 1hr 45mins, then every subsequent car being full. After 2 hours a lorry came through and had space for us and about 5 women with their young children. We clambered into the back and set out on the bumpy ride our bags acting as seats for the women and children in the lorry. 45 mins later and we were at the bottom of the hill to Kuelap. We set out on the path we had been told about which was meant to take half an hour. A whole hour later and we realised we must have gone the wrong way, and decided to head back through the incessent drizzle of the cloud forest. After our 2 hour detour we decided it best just to walk up the road, and before long we were at the entrance to Kuelap where we bought our tickets for two days and headed towards Kuelap village where we hoped to stay in a hostal. On the way to the village we met, a child of about 12 on horseback who offered to put us up in his house with his mother and siblings. Wet and unsure what we were getting in for we accepted. When we arrived at his house it was a typical Peruvian cob building, with no electricity or running water. We were told that we had to pay for meals and the accomodation was done on a donation basis. At this point we had yet to see anyone over the age of 14. As they showed us our room, a dark building with a mud floor and walls...and ceiling, we squinted in the dark, and pointed out there were only two beds. Quickly the children went into another room and started dismantalling another bed and subsequently rebuilding in our room. They stuck a candle to the wall and before long there were three beds. When eventually the mother arrived and welcomed us we asked politlely if we could have a late lunch and within minutes we were given a large plate of broad beans, and some pig skin. This was all gone within minutes and yet another plate of broad beans arrived. The children were all very excited to have gringo guests, and insisted we play many rounds of their board game, before asking if we had any games. At this point Max produced his pack of cards and taught them snap, a game which they all took to very quickly. After many many rounds of snap we ate a dinner of chips, egg and rice, and played more snap in the candle light until everyone went to bed.

The next morning we woke relatively early, ate a breakfast of boiled egg and biscuits, before getting a guided tour of the ruins by the oldest of the siblings; Alejandro, 14, he gave an informative and interesting history of teh ruins of Kuelap, and afterwards returned to their house, where his mother was cooking more broad beans on the open fire in the kitchen/dining room of their house. Around us running about were chickens, chicks, cats, kittens, children, dogs and guinea pigs. They began listing all of the films they had seen (which included an aweful lot of horror films) which they had seen in the nearest city of Chachapoyas. They had seen seemingly every vampire film ever made, and asked us whether vampires existed. They were also big fans of Jackie Chan and after listing probably most of his films, the young girl of around 8 asked us whether Jackie Chan existed "¿Jackie Chan existe?" and was most suprised to find out he did, about five minuites later, their mother who was half listening in whilst cooking, turns around looks suprised and asked "¿Jackie Chan existe?". In Peru it was mothers day on the 9th of May, and the school was selling special Mothers day trout, which we had been offered and one of the children had set out on a horse to get. Meanwhile the young girl continued to monologue in quick excited spanish about everything that had ever happened in Kuelap, with none of us able to keep up with what she was saying, not even the mother. Soon after some delicious trout, broad beans, and rice we had to leave, we left a donation equal to that of a normal hostal (much to the suprise of the mother) and also donated the pack of cards as Snap! had taken over as their main form of entertainment. We set out from their house with the oldest child who was going to tingo anyway as he went to school there during the week. The walk took 2 hours down the side of the mountain taking many shortcuts through the bushes. When we were there we tried to get a car to Chachapoyas so that we could get the night bus to Huancacho and again they were mostly full. We very nearly got a lift to Huancacho direct in a lorry but unfortunatly it was full of produce. The only car we could find had both its spare tyres flat and didn´t want to risk it. Somehow eventually the guy came up to us saying he now had some tyres and would take us to Chachapoyas. In Chachapoyas he took us to the bus station where we bought our tickets, and waited for the bus. Whilst we were waiting there was a power cut, and we boarded the bus in the dark....

Dr Johnny Lovewisdom, free alcohol and the journey to Peru

|
Well, a lot has been going on since our last post. First stop was Cajas National Park - according to Franklin, an Ecuadorean version of the Lake District. We camped here for one night and finally got a chance to use Franklin's stove using our wonderful new methylated spirits. Our original plan to wake up at five o'clock the following morning for a six hour walk was stymied by our general laziness so instead we went for an aimless wander in some mystical Lord of the Rings-style woods.
Then it was a public transport fiesta from Cajas, to Cuenca, to Loja, to Vilcabamba, where we shacked up in our best hostel yet. Vilcabamba is a really peaceful place renowned for the longevity of its residents and the massive number of weirdos living there. Most famous nutjob was Dr Johnny Lovewisdom, who started a cult there called the 'Pristine Order of Paradisiacal Perfection' some years ago. Not sure if that's still in swing but there were an alarming number of posters in our hostel calling all 'Keepers of the Earth and Workers of the Light to harness the violet transmutations and so bring order and perfection back into the community'. Which is nice. We didn't join a cult during our stay but we did go for a walk - during which we almost got flattened by a herd of cliff-top horses and thousands of ants crawled up my clothes. Also got massages, went for a swim, played numerous games of pool and ping-pong... Our last night there coincided with one of the owners' leaving do, which meant unlimited free rum & coke and pineapple wine. Which proved to be our downfall. Don't remember an awful lot about that night and we didn't wake up until past ten the following day, half an hour after we'd been planning to catch our bus into Peru. But no worries. Instead we went on a long and precarious bus-ride to an end-of-the-road town called Zumba and stayed the night in a dingy hotel.
Next morning, a 'ranchera', which is like an open-sided truck with benches, to the border crossing called La Balsa. Easily the least official border crossing any of us have experienced - when the lady running the migration office eventually turned up she spent most of the time telling us how good-looking we were and complaining that Peruvian men were so much uglier than foreigners. Then she took some pictures of us - nothing to do with security, she just wanted our photos - and we went on our way.
SO... here we are on our second full day in Peru. Next thing lined up is a hike/horse-ride to Laguna de los Condores, which Alex is currently getting organised. Franklin is on Facebook and I'm eating yoghurt. And that's our blog-post pretty much up to date.